Rebel Rouser

When they zapped my brain, I did not recognize the nurse who had been there all along.
I recalled my mother’s face, worry lines and all.
Too familiar.
I forget sometimes with all these cells coarsing through veins, tripping up emotions that things came easier once.
Life was uncomplicated, and I took it for granted.
It was the little moments I shrugged off, the nothing less than important.
Vital lessons of joy and exhilaration.
With no electronic distractions and tortoise shell healing, I ventured out.
Creating fairytale landminds of imagination.
Words, oberservations, storytime coffeebook tales and me.
Those were the happiest, carefree minutes I can recall.
Where did the feisty, rebel rouser go?
One bad-seed simple cell becomes a life so jaded, so messy complicated.
Most days I am angry, sad, inconsolable, regretful longing.
Ambivalent.
Most days I’d rather be dead than carry the weight.
Most days I wish to hurry them along.
Stupid, stupid wild child be quiet and let me think.
Other days I long for a reboot, sunshine and a fresh start.
Palm Springs, majestic mountains and course sandy beaches.
The bloody burden of living.
To hell and back.
Am I allowed to say this?
Surely you’ve felt out of sorts.
No, no, no sour grapes please.
The vines are frozen solid anyway.
To choose life even when it stings.
To follow love.
To take a naked selfie.
And a big, big, big long look in the mirror.
Self-love requires discipline, conviction and a healthy dose of rebellion.
Post it notes are positively lovely.
Dreamy reminders that stick.
Even when all roads feel exhausted.
To choose the smallest room for living and sit in stillness.
That is torture and pain.
That takes courage.
That is patience.
Self-awareness and empathy are no small feat.
One red cell quantifies a fate.
I am not mean-spirited or selfish.
I am too damn honest.
Scribbling words you may not wish to hear.
Screw it.
Few have traveled where I visit.
You have not embodied this small room.
Overcrowded.
Egocentric, over-eccentric, paranoid, panicked, depressed, suicidal, and manic at times.
So what.
It’s all mixed-up.
The ugliest parts housed right alongside the beautiful.
So be it, mind of mine.
Some cells went haywire.
Others did not.
Shock me back to your absurd reality.
Fucking crazy, isn’t it?
To think we are all dying differently.
Silly.
Call me a rebel rouser.
Insanity feels perfectly normal to me.

The Vast Landscape Cali Book Tour

The Vast Landscape 

Going Back To Cali  Book Tour 

“…go on a journey with the character, so much so that you reach a certain point and it’s almost impossible to set down…”

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Vino Volo Libro #TheVastLandscape #CaliBound  #BookTour #ZenLIfe
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DULLES #Ontheshelves #JOLIEvibe
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Cool chicks Happy Readers Airport cheer
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Holiday Travel Great Book

“Trust, doubt, love, and the rawness of life wrapped into one story that leaves you questioning your very core.”

The eagle has landed.
The eagle has landed.

The Chopra Center Self awareness, body, mind and spirit, meditation,  restoration. Reconnect.

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“Nothing is more important than reconnecting with your bliss. Nothing is as rich. Nothing is more real.”

Deepak Chopra

“The world of Harry is equally painful and beautiful and you can’t help but fall in love with her brashness and vulnerability.”

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Reading an Amazing book, hanging with Deepak – Omni La Costa Spa and Resort
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Follow your bliss ‪#‎TheVastLandscape‬ ‪#‎Ayurveda‬ ‪#‎Chopra‬ Massage and an awesome read at the same time…
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I am woman. Hear me ROAR. #embracethepretty #TheVastLandscape Read it. Own it. Love it…
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Rad. Righteous. Ride the Wave. ‪ #‎TheVastLandscape‬ ‪#‎Encinitas

“The world Cioffa created is realistic and easy to connect with. I laughed as much as I cried as the story whipped around me.”

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Never.Quit.Your.Dreams. #TheVastLandscape #Encinitas