Kindness and self-confidence become the noose around my neck in a shallow world filled with self-absorbed, self-obsessed, fear-fueled desperate “look at me” cries for attentionGuiltyI try not to dwell on the fake realities, about you and him and her in their filtered out of focus world, as redundant images scroll past my screenAnd an overwhelming, weight bearing, heart heavy sadness floods my brain connecting bones and boiling bloodSocial media may
A DESCENT AND ASCENT INTO MADNESS A decade ago I made a commitment to myself and a promise if I could write my deepest, darkest truths, fears, and wildest dreams on the page, I might have a shot at surviving the depths of hell I was living. THE RED BENCH essentially became a one-hundred-plus-page creative exploration, and the purest stream of consciousness, and the most essential tool in my survival
If I show you the inside of my heart you might die of frostbite It’s black and frozen There are no cracks or crevices, no sunbeams of light Only the abyss and heaviness of the infinite Suffocated breath In this world, these times, these superficial plastic without purpose days I’d like a rewind I was born sad you see Born with sadness in my marrow Dripping from my old spirit
There is a lack of elegance, sexiness and mystery missing in photographs of women today, especially celebrities and the overexposed, blasé way they brand themselves and how they are portrayed through the lens. Social media and fashion have made women seem like untouchable objects, loud, fake and even desperate at times. The “look at me” culture screaming for more and more attention. I have always had a more hate than
If you can live with gum on your shoe, sweat on your brow and frown lines quivering from your lip, well then I can too. You are a cautionary tale of the worst and best kind of chaos, tortured buried secrets and lies. Brush off the shit and the stink, unmasking truth. Embrace the planetary spins and every so often celebrate silver linings. Be better than me, bigger, more evolved.
Hate has no place in the home, on the mean streets, or the man-made war zones. Of this ugly 21st century that is so unkind. United as one, we are not. We are not even close in these chaotic, heartbreaking times of epic, earth shattering cosmic shifts and distorted evil proportions. Terrorists, murderers and violent, you are most assuredly unwelcome. The time has come to become one voice united against
Twelve years and however many months, I sat across from the very together, all business woman shrink, who handed me a ‘life sentence.’ I looked at my mother, and burst into tears. No, no, no please god. I could not believe it, yet I already knew. Hallucinations, ghosts, talking way too fast, dancing in Radio Shack (mortifying), writing furiously on stacks and stacks of paper on a cardboard box. Brain zaps, months with