Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo and marks twelve years since my dad passed. Since I’m not a fan of any Holiday, I’m posting early. I miss so many things about my father, his humor, integrity, kindness, good nature, humility, strength, and his absolute non-judgmental nature. Mostly, I miss the way he held our family together while taking care of the world. I wonder what he’d think today of a global pandemic, he wouldn’t think, he’d act. He was a man of action. I miss that, his fearless ways, and how effortlessly he made everyone laugh, including me. I am not an easy person, yet he never made me feel complicated or uncomfortable. He made me feel seen and loved. His good name and fading memories are all that’s left, and that is not nearly good enough, but I’ll take it. Build a good name, try your best, and don’t be an asshole. No matter the circumstance. Find joy wherever you can.
“I don’t need a faded memory to feel his love in my bones and smiling under my skin.
His grin is the brightest, fondest memory I hold.
My heart and his are forever entwined.
Still, doesn’t make the missing any easier.
I wear his boots and trip sometimes.
That makes me smile, on the inside.” – Jacqueline Cioffa